I read a tweet by @ysuckme and oh my God, has anything ever summarized adulthood better? It was totally relatable. Yes, there is a lot to learning, unlearning and relearning in this life.
As children, we were bombarded with a lot of things many of us now spend our lives trying to unlearn.
For example:
- We learned that rest was something you earned, not what you deserved.
- That success is equated to being busy.
- That it is rude to say “no.”
- That vulnerability equals weakness.
Unlearning all that? Exhausting. Necessary. Healing.
I have had to relearn that it is OK to rest with no guilt. That having boundaries is necessary and doesn’t mean I am stubborn. Actually, boundaries are more like ‘protection’.
Most importantly, I am learning how to love myself in ways I have never known possible. I am learning how to speak to myself kindly. And, (to break] survival patterns that do not serve my life at the moment.
It is the little things too.
Such as the unlearning that tea should be hot to be decent (thanks a bunch, cold mug of forgotten motherhood). I cannot count the many times I forgot I had coffee or tea in my motherhood chaos.
Or learning to ride a bike again at 33, because the joy does not have an expiry date. Or what to say when you have to apologize to your child, even though you vowed parents never do such things.
Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning.
It’s not linear. Some days, I revert to my old habits. Some days, I surprise myself. But what I do know in my bones is this: growing is messy, uncomfortable and thoroughly human.
As they say, learning is a continuous journey.
Embrace unlearning and relearning, because attaining self-growth often means letting go of who you were taught to be.
