I will be honest with you: I am on my being broke era.
Today, I paid bills with vibes, good intentions, and the hope that the Lord touches Safaricom’s and DTB’s heart to wait just a little longer.
Oh yes, I am broke. And not in that “Haha I am broke but I have savings” kind of way. No. I am talking about the “let me delete this bank app and mute notifications” kind of broke.
You develop a PhD in avoiding M-Pesa and bank notifications.
Loan apps? Suddenly, they are the most consistent people in your life.
Your signature line is now: “I’m fine, just tired”, because telling people you have 63 shillings left makes them nervous.
But really, why are people so afraid to talk about being broke?
This is a phase. It doesn’t define me. And it will pass.
But yeah… not having money is not just about ‘money’.
It is the quiet panic you carry around. The mental gymnastics of planning and unplanning every shilling.
The Mental Load
You know what is wild?
Having no money requires creativity and a high level of resilience.
You become a master of:
Finding the cheapest airtime bundles
Knowing where onions/tomatoes cost less
Budgeting on an Excel sheet you never follow
Broke in a matatu…
One day, I will write a whole Matatu Survival Guide for Broke People.
Like how you can calculate fare change faster than the conductor.
How you suddenly become spiritual when you have exact fare.
Or how you smile confidently while praying the conductor forgets to collect yours.
And you haven’t really lived until you have whispered to a cashier in a supermarket queue:
“Toa hiyo yoghurt/mkate or whatever.”
The Silent Pressure to be Okay
Social media? No help.
Someone is in Dubai. Another is sipping their fav drink over a sunset view.
Meanwhile, you are wondering where your next one thousand will come from.
Being broke feels like a secret shame.
Like you are failing at adulthood.
Like everyone else got a manual you somehow missed.
But here is the truth:
Being broke is not a character flaw.
It is a phase. A hard one, but a phase.
I mean, I’ve been broke before… and it passed.
Or maybe it’ll get worse?😅 Let’s laugh through it anyway.
The Unexpected Gifts of My Broke Era
Being broke has made me:
Resourceful (leftovers have never tasted that delicious)
Creative (you will be amazed at how I am pro on lots of things)
Grateful (every good day is now a blessing)
Empathetic (I see people now, really see them)
And most of all, it has taught me a level of faith that would make my Sunday school teacher proud.
To Anyone Else Who is Broke Too
You are not alone.
You are not lazy.
You are not failing.
You are surviving.
It is okay to laugh through the pain.
To cry over what you can’t afford now.
To screenshot things you can’t afford, yet.
Today, I paid bills with good vibes and Inshallah, yes…
But also with hope.
Hope that this season will pass.
Hope that I will one day buy things without checking my balance.
Hope that I will write about this chapter from the other side, with tears of gratitude.
P.S. If you are also struggling with emotional burnout or guilt in motherhood, you might relate to this post I wrote about mom guilt and learning to let go. 💛
With love, grace, and a very empty wallet,
Joy Tich 💛
This is so good Joy😍
Thanks girl.
Wow,just wow